I have never been more comfortable in my own skin.

I have always had an aversion to authority - I never studied business or anything to do with business, but I grew up knowing that I needed to own what I did for a living. This is why after working many odd jobs in the past, I still chose performing and now running my own lifestyle brand. I put a lot into what I do, and I have a passion for building up great things. I am 30 and I feel I have done enough to make my mum and dad proud. I am doing alright, but I am not the most successful person. I am happy, but not the most content. I feel accomplished, but no more than I used to. Some people comment, some people judge, others say I am lucky - I tell them luck is not the word. Granted, the timing was right - nobody sees the hard work that goes on behind closed doors. Nobody sees all the times I am on an intended vacation with my loved one constantly in panic mode. Nobody sees the sleep deprivation I have had in past 3 years. Nobody sees the emotions I go through when the workforce gets demanding. Nobody sees I have little energy for social life. Few know that being a business owner can get hella lonely - all people see are all the good things I choose to present on social media, and of course I only choose the good things... that’s the way the world works these days. That’s when people tell me I’m ‘killin’ it’ and living the dream. It has been great for the most part - I’m not gonna lie, but every single point I made above is true - and sometimes I wished I was less of a go-getter.

Why I share my story is because if there is anything the past three years have taught me - it is pretty much that every hiccup that I have encountered along the way from when I was a start-up hustler has made me a better person. It has taught me how to appreciate some of the finer qualities in life, and let go of my attachment to others. It has taught me that it is okay for some people to love you, and others to hate you. It has taught me that I am far from perfect and I make mistakes, but I am confident enough to admit that. It has helped me reveal who I truly care about. I have never been more comfortable in my own skin.
Alicia Pan