To Nix and Jason.

I believe that each own self will always bring out the best or a better version of them self because eventually, the biggest enemy is always you. But, behind every success will always have the people who had given us the extra push. In my case, I would call this people, Redeafination. They have been my pillar of motivation and it has lead me to where I am now.

At an infant age, I had a high fever which affected my hearing and was sent to a special hearing school where everyone had the same condition as me. But this has never deter my father to teach me about the life of music. He made me feel as though my hearing was not a disability. He taught me that I should not be ashamed of wearing my hearing aids in public as it was equally the same as people wearing spectacles. Music was something I grew up my entire childhood. Every weekend, I would wake up to music blasting through the house. Dancing to all types of music. (Especially Bollywood!) This has got me to easily copy dance moves through my eyes. Through that, I learnt how every beat or a certain type of sound was created to make music.

In 2009, I decided to take dance seriously and formed a small crew in my secondary school. As I grew hungrier in my passion, I came across Redeafination at a dance event. It wasn't a typical dance crew, it was Singapore deaf dance crew and I felt drawn to them at first sight which led me to sign up with them. That was when a new chapter of life began for me. First year with Redeafination was a tough year, I came in with 10% sign language skill which I was not encouraged to so during my primary school and entered mainstream school after that so I often use my voice to communicate. Eventually, as years passed, I managed to build my communication with my crew mates better.

Redeafination has taught me many valuable lessons. Besides dance, it also taught me many ways of my own values. It open up many doors of opportunity to feed my passion and I learn to appreciate the beauty of deafness even more. I made many deaf friends here and there, even from other countries. Never did I knew that a deaf 'culture' actually existed and I was pretty much impressed by how much more out there that I need to learn.

I would like to personally dedicate this story to Nix and Jason who has left a huge impact on my life. Times where I was not confident of what I am doing, there are the ones who has guide me all along and given me their utmost support. I remember when I was just a beginner stage of my dancing path, they were the ones I watch every single time and inspired me to start going for dance classes alone outside with the mainstream dancers. I was first taught the basic fundamental of Hip Hop from Nix and Jason which eventually made things easier for me when I took classes outside. I remembered the first time I auditioned for a recital and was picked through the first round. I started making connection to other dancers, making myself a better dancer. It was also because of Nix and Jason, they groom me to be a instructor/choreographer and was given a chance to teach my very own crew. Through that, I actually taught a normal mainstream dance class outside at a small studio. I recalled how much fear and and anxiety went through me. Before the class started, I hid in the toilet for a solid 10 minutes, texting my crew and going through my notes. I feared so much that I would fail to conduct the class. I feared so much what if the students asked me question and I am not able to hear them. But I know that if I don't step out of my comfort zone or make the first step, I will never learn and this was something I always wanted to try. I took the leap, brave the whole 90 minutes and voila! It wasn't that bad. I make mistakes, and I learn from it. Success always comes with failure. As my passion grew, I joined competitions and made myself the Top 4. Reflecting back, all of this experiences and achievements would not have been made without Nix and Jason.

My deafness does not bother me much even though I have friends who have worse hearing conditions than me. I believe that in each individual, that they have their own strength and weakness. To the words of Batman (my childhood hero), I am always reminding myself to make my weakness into strength. With my condition, I made many good friends and gain so many experiences. I earned to make my every moment in life, count.
Muhammad Ammar