I might not have been the brightest star.
Having lost my father at a young age and being shun away from relatives plus growing up in a broken home where you feel like one of the main cast of a never-ending drama where the scriptwriter forgot to actually include the comic relief into some parts, I often felt like there is no way out and there is no point in living. Looking out of my window, the grass is always greener on the other side. Through the years, there is only one question that i wanted to ask the scripwriter and everyone else involved, "Why?"
One day i woke up from a trans, at my lowest of low, at my wits end, at 19.No.This is not how i end my life. This is not it. I pick up whatever that is left of me and took a deep breath. I vowed to start a new. I enrolled myself for the 3rd time to ITE. I learnt to pick the right friends, to only pick the good stuff of the past 18 years and moved on and try to fix my broken self on my own. Against all the odds, I graduated. Because of finances, i couldn't proceed to higher nitec so i got a full-time job and enrolled in a part-time WSQ Diploma of which I graduated.
Fast forward to my present, i am working for one of the crisis shelter for victims of family violence. As much as i am working to finance myself, i feel like i am giving back to the community and i am happy.
I might not have been the brightest star or have anything special in me but if i have learnt anything at all, it is that.. there might be alot of scripts thrown at me but i am in charge of my own happiness and i have stopped wanting to ask the scriptwriter and everyone else "Why?" Some questions are better left unanswered.
For teens or anyone out there who are having it harder than their other peers.. i hope you hang on and stay stong because you are never alone. And trust me... with hardships comes ease.